A Retired Man Went into the Social Security Office to Apply for Benefits

Here's a story about a retired senior man who went into the social security office to apply for benefits that will get you giggling.

This joke, taken from Unijokes, goes...

An old man posing to camera. | Photo: Pexels

An old man posing to camera. | Photo: Pexels

A retired gentleman went into the social security office to apply for Social Security.  After waiting in line for a long time, he got to the counter. 

The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home.

A high-rise building. | Photo: Pexels

A high-rise building. | Photo: Pexels

He told the woman that he was very sorry, but he seemed to have left his wallet at home.  “Will I have to go home and come back now?” he asks.

The woman says, “Unbutton your shirt.” So he opens his shirt revealing lots of curly silver hair.

A woman in the office. | Photo: Pexels

A woman in the office. | Photo: Pexels

She says, “That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me.” And she processes his Social Security application.

When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the Social Security office. She said, “You should have dropped your pants, you might have qualified for disability, too.”

An old woman smiling. | Photo: Pexels

An old woman smiling. | Photo: Pexels

Laughed out loud? Here's another joke about an old man...

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. 

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." 

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. 

A man in grey suit eating ice cream. | Photo: Pexels

A man in grey suit eating ice cream. | Photo: Pexels

The doctor asked what happened, and the man explained, "Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help."

"She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing." 

"We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing." 

A doctor carrying stethoscope. | Photo: Pexels

A doctor carrying stethoscope. | Photo: Pexels

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?" 

The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."

Please share these stories for your loved ones who might need a good laugh today.