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Someone Posted the Best Obituary Ever Written in a Newspaper

Razia Meer
Jun 19, 2019
05:54 P.M.

Losing someone or something is not very easy, but what if it's something you wished more people had in abundance, or that you wish was never taken for granted?

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Someone who realized that Common Sense has been lost to the world posted this "obituary" in the New York Times.

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.

No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will forever be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

– Knowing when to come in out of the rain;

– Why the early bird gets the worm;

– Life isn’t always fair;

– and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.

Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

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Man reading the newspaper. | Source: Stefan Schweihofer/Pixabay

Man reading the newspaper. | Source: Stefan Schweihofer/Pixabay

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home without the burglar suing you for assault.

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Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement by a court.

Pallbearers carrying a casket at a funeral. | Source: carolynabooth/Pixabay

Pallbearers carrying a casket at a funeral. | Source: carolynabooth/Pixabay

Common Sense was preceded in death:

– by his parents, Truth, and Trust,

– by his wife, Discretion,

– by his daughter, Responsibility,

– and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;

– I Know My Rights

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– I Want It Now

– Someone Else Is To Blame

– I’m A Victim

– Pay me for Doing Nothing

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Share this with your friends, in loving memory of Common Sense!

Someone deserving of a good obituary recently was Gloria Vanderbilt, heir to the Vanderbilt fortune and mother of CNN reporter, Anderson Cooper.

The 95-year-old fashion icon will reportedly be buried next to her fourth husband Wyatt Cooper and son Carter Vanderbilt in Staten Island.

It is unclear whether Vanderbilt's sons from her second marriage, Leopold Stanislaus Stokowski and Christopher Stokowski, will attend the funeral.

Cooper honored his mother on social media, sharing his thoughts along with images of her, including one showing her giggling in her hospital bed. May she rest in peace.

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