Girl I’ve Been Casually Dating Invited Me to Dinner with Her Friends & Publicly Demanded I Pay For Her

On a Friday evening, a man was relaxing with his sister and her best friend. Out of the blue, a girl he had been casually dating invited them to dinner with her friends. When the bill arrived, he planned to pay for his sister and her friend, but the girl insisted he cover her share, too. The man's response stunned the people with them at the table.

In February 2022, an anonymous male contributor shared his story in Reddit's "AITA" forum. The man, aged 28, was in a casual relationship with a girl he referred to as Lisa, 26, whom he had met through mutual friends. They went on a few dates, typically meeting for drinks after work.

Over the course of three months, they met up three to four times. In their first encounter within a group setting, everyone paid for themselves. Afterward, the man took on the expenses, which remained relatively minimal, around $10-15, maintaining the laid-back atmosphere of their outings.

One Friday evening, the man was having a lovely time chatting with his sister and her best friend when something happened. He received a message from Lisa inviting him to join her and her friends at a bar/restaurant.

The man didn't expect the girl who invited him to dinner to also insist on him covering her bill.

He informed her that his sister, 21, and friend, also 21, were with him, to which Lisa responded positively, saying, "[The] more, the merrier." They all met up, and the gathering included enjoyable conversation, food, and drinks.

When the server inquired about splitting the bill, the man took the initiative, expressing his intent to cover the costs for himself, his sister, and her best friend. This decision surprised Lisa, who questioned why he wouldn't pay for her as well.

The man didn't expect the girl who invited him to dinner to also insist on him covering her bill. But he had a response. Firmly, he declined, stating they weren't at a stage where he'd spend that much on her. This straightforward response silenced the table despite her friends attempting to challenge him.

He questioned Lisa about her expectation for him to foot the bill, given that she had extended the dinner invitation. She insisted a gentleman should pay, but he stood his ground, emphasizing he was a gentleman, not a pushover. Eventually, he settled his share, retrieved his sister and her friend from the dance floor, and left.

Later, Lisa sent the original poster a text and said his actions had caused her embarrassment in front of everyone. She pointed out that he had spent over $300 on his sister and her friend but hadn't extended the same courtesy to her.

He found it puzzling how some readers inferred otherwise.

This greatly annoyed OP, prompting a firm response. He reminded Lisa that their relationship was casual and she wasn't his girlfriend. He also advised her to seek someone else for the lavish treatment she desired. Following this, he blocked her.

In discussions with his sister's best friend, she affirmed that OP was justified in not paying for Lisa. Despite being perceived as inconsiderate by Lisa and her friends, the man acknowledged a potential gray area, reflecting on the fact that he had previously covered Lisa's drinks but drew the line at paying for her expensive dinner this time. "AITA for not paying for Lisa?" wondered OP.

In response to commenters' queries, OP clarified that he paid exclusively for himself, his sister, and her best friend — not Lisa. He found it puzzling how some readers inferred otherwise. Given that he invited his sister and her friend, it felt appropriate to cover their bill. Lisa and her friends managed their own expenses.

OP's story was well-received by the online community, the majority of whom supported him and labeled him as "NTA." Let's take a look at a few comments worth a special mention:

Do you think OP was justified in refusing to pay for the girl who invited him for dinner? What would you do if you were in OP's place?

Here's another similar story where a man's wife demanded he cover a $700+ bill for her and her friends.